Monday, June 23, 2014
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Ebb & Flow
I'm thinking about taking up my blogging habits again. My focus will change from mostly weight loss to other life goals. There's a lot of PROJECTS in my life that I enjoy, and it might be nice to record my journey with them.
The projects I choose to involve myself in are usually inspired by the Church. But I admit that I have a hard time knowing when my project ideas are promptings from God or from my own selfish brain. :) I tend to go all out with most of my ideas... I like to start fast and go go go with full intensity. I think my thinking is that if I am being called to a "mission field", I'd rather jump on it and answer quickly and faithfully than to ponder it for too long and dismiss it as my own ideas, then realize later that I should have acted.
I do recognize the danger in this. God wants me to be intentional and careful. He wants to teach me patience, discernment, and slow & steady faithfulness. He does not wish to see me sprinting every time the whistle blows, only to be winded and sometimes burnt out after only 100 yards on a marathon course.
The newest project on my mind (which quite honestly has inspired me to rekindle with this here blog) is the dream to homeschool my kids. There are so many reasons I want to homeschool them, and yet I'm torn because I'm so happy at my current job, get paid well for the work I do, and really do already "have it all." So, why fix something that isn't really all that broken? Well - when I say it like that my immediate reaction is a face of disgust... our school system really truly is broken. And as my kids get older, I realize more how detrimentally broken it is - even in this award winning, middle-upper class district that I'm in.
So there you have it - my re-introduction.
Prayerfully,
Maggie
The projects I choose to involve myself in are usually inspired by the Church. But I admit that I have a hard time knowing when my project ideas are promptings from God or from my own selfish brain. :) I tend to go all out with most of my ideas... I like to start fast and go go go with full intensity. I think my thinking is that if I am being called to a "mission field", I'd rather jump on it and answer quickly and faithfully than to ponder it for too long and dismiss it as my own ideas, then realize later that I should have acted.
I do recognize the danger in this. God wants me to be intentional and careful. He wants to teach me patience, discernment, and slow & steady faithfulness. He does not wish to see me sprinting every time the whistle blows, only to be winded and sometimes burnt out after only 100 yards on a marathon course.
The newest project on my mind (which quite honestly has inspired me to rekindle with this here blog) is the dream to homeschool my kids. There are so many reasons I want to homeschool them, and yet I'm torn because I'm so happy at my current job, get paid well for the work I do, and really do already "have it all." So, why fix something that isn't really all that broken? Well - when I say it like that my immediate reaction is a face of disgust... our school system really truly is broken. And as my kids get older, I realize more how detrimentally broken it is - even in this award winning, middle-upper class district that I'm in.
So there you have it - my re-introduction.
Prayerfully,
Maggie
Sunday, July 22, 2012
So it begins
I'm kind of obsessive. Or maybe loyal is a kinder descriptive. When I have all my cards in my hand, I play straight and honest and there's no messing around.
So begins the 100 day challenge. I've already learned a thing or two. Like the power of not-so-random quotes on pinterest or the power of prayerfully letting go so God can do His thing.
Funny thing - honest to goodness - my shoulder hasn't hurt for over a week now. Ever since I prayerfully made the commitment to pay closer attention to Him and be more intentional about how I treat the body He has given me, I've felt better physically and spiritually. My shoulder feels like I never had an injury there. It's been almost a year now since I did physical therapy on my shoulder, it failed, and I resigned to just deal with it for the rest of my life since I can't justify the need for a CAT scan or surgery on it.
I also learned that I'm not motivated by money at all. Ever since husby and I climbed out of debt, money hasn't been controlling our lives so much. When I was brainstorming about the 100 DC, I immediately thought that maybe money would motivate me or help me keep myself accountable for my choices.. but I was wrong! I forgot all about that idea and it doesn't really appeal to me anymore. Another post will be about how I think money and dieting are VERY similar. I can't wait to rant and rave about that.
I also learned that I can, with a small investment (about $8 for a nut milk bag) make juice with my blender, that I don't need a $100+ juicer to do it. I can't wait for that amazon shipment. :) Thanks a million to my great friends on facebook who are doing the challenge with me and sharing lots of awesome, valuable information to help me along my way.
I'm also learning that food controls my social life (or, at least it USED TO!!)... this is an idea I've been "chewing on" for more than a year now, but I've just recently made sense of it in my head. Have you ever noticed that everything we do socially or culturally, even, has (bad) food attached to it? In my life, activities revolve around a meal. Or, if eating is not part of the activity, the activity is scheduled at a time that is perfectly convenient in relation to meal times. Who said I have to eat monster size meals every five hours? Who says breakfast is at 7, lunch at 12 and dinner at 5? That's ridiculous - no wonder the #1 advice given by "experts" to people who are trying to lose fat is to eat smaller meals more often. I can't believe it took me this long to realize that. Just because society says those are meal times, does not mean I need to feed my body MORE FOOD at those times! Gah. Also - why does everything have to have food as a major component? Going to the movies - plan on popcorn! Going to a ball game (a sporting event, hey that's exercise!) count on a hot dog and beer! Going to the circus - plan on cotton candy or a sno cone! Going to the park - better pack a snack! Going on a bike ride - better go after a big meal and then eat another big meal shortly after you're done! Going shopping - try a new restaurant while you're out! Going on a date - eating without the kids! Going to the grocery store - don't go hungry, eat before you go! Going to work - don't forget breakfast, and pack a lunch, and hey whats for dinner tonight! Going to church - yay, donuts!
Hah - I'm ranting now.
So anyway - Day 1 was fairly easy. I'm obsessing about the challenge. I'm obsessing about my new lessons - about the juice, about the recipes I'm discovering, about praying diligently. I'm obsessing lately over how much my God loves me! I should love myself, too.. and I think I'm on my way there.
I know that there's a honeymoon period in everything good. I'm expecting some off days in a week or two... where my obsessions turn into let-downs because of minor set backs. But, it will all work out in the end.
It just feels good to get to know my body again.
Thanks for reading!
So begins the 100 day challenge. I've already learned a thing or two. Like the power of not-so-random quotes on pinterest or the power of prayerfully letting go so God can do His thing.
Funny thing - honest to goodness - my shoulder hasn't hurt for over a week now. Ever since I prayerfully made the commitment to pay closer attention to Him and be more intentional about how I treat the body He has given me, I've felt better physically and spiritually. My shoulder feels like I never had an injury there. It's been almost a year now since I did physical therapy on my shoulder, it failed, and I resigned to just deal with it for the rest of my life since I can't justify the need for a CAT scan or surgery on it.
I also learned that I'm not motivated by money at all. Ever since husby and I climbed out of debt, money hasn't been controlling our lives so much. When I was brainstorming about the 100 DC, I immediately thought that maybe money would motivate me or help me keep myself accountable for my choices.. but I was wrong! I forgot all about that idea and it doesn't really appeal to me anymore. Another post will be about how I think money and dieting are VERY similar. I can't wait to rant and rave about that.
I also learned that I can, with a small investment (about $8 for a nut milk bag) make juice with my blender, that I don't need a $100+ juicer to do it. I can't wait for that amazon shipment. :) Thanks a million to my great friends on facebook who are doing the challenge with me and sharing lots of awesome, valuable information to help me along my way.
I'm also learning that food controls my social life (or, at least it USED TO!!)... this is an idea I've been "chewing on" for more than a year now, but I've just recently made sense of it in my head. Have you ever noticed that everything we do socially or culturally, even, has (bad) food attached to it? In my life, activities revolve around a meal. Or, if eating is not part of the activity, the activity is scheduled at a time that is perfectly convenient in relation to meal times. Who said I have to eat monster size meals every five hours? Who says breakfast is at 7, lunch at 12 and dinner at 5? That's ridiculous - no wonder the #1 advice given by "experts" to people who are trying to lose fat is to eat smaller meals more often. I can't believe it took me this long to realize that. Just because society says those are meal times, does not mean I need to feed my body MORE FOOD at those times! Gah. Also - why does everything have to have food as a major component? Going to the movies - plan on popcorn! Going to a ball game (a sporting event, hey that's exercise!) count on a hot dog and beer! Going to the circus - plan on cotton candy or a sno cone! Going to the park - better pack a snack! Going on a bike ride - better go after a big meal and then eat another big meal shortly after you're done! Going shopping - try a new restaurant while you're out! Going on a date - eating without the kids! Going to the grocery store - don't go hungry, eat before you go! Going to work - don't forget breakfast, and pack a lunch, and hey whats for dinner tonight! Going to church - yay, donuts!
Hah - I'm ranting now.
So anyway - Day 1 was fairly easy. I'm obsessing about the challenge. I'm obsessing about my new lessons - about the juice, about the recipes I'm discovering, about praying diligently. I'm obsessing lately over how much my God loves me! I should love myself, too.. and I think I'm on my way there.
I know that there's a honeymoon period in everything good. I'm expecting some off days in a week or two... where my obsessions turn into let-downs because of minor set backs. But, it will all work out in the end.
It just feels good to get to know my body again.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, July 16, 2012
One Pound
I think I posted this before, but I couldn't find it and it's worth posting often anyway. Here, readers, is what ONE POUND looks like.
Imagine taking FOUR STICKS OF BUTTER out of your belly. That is something to celebrate! Don't ever get discouraged for losing "just one pound." It's quite impressive!
Imagine taking FOUR STICKS OF BUTTER out of your belly. That is something to celebrate! Don't ever get discouraged for losing "just one pound." It's quite impressive!
100 Day Challenge
With a little help from some friends, I've decided to be more intentional about my body for the next 100 days. The idea is that I'll get myself back on track physically and mentally and will get stronger emotionally and spiritually. I want to (re)develop some great habits before "The Holidays" are upon us once again.
There are 100 days until Halloween - that sounds like a challenge for me!
Hopefully this blog will get updates during the next 100 days as I remember that my body is only a temporary dwelling and that it should be treated with respect and that everything I do with my body should be done to the glory of God.
There are 100 days until Halloween - that sounds like a challenge for me!
Hopefully this blog will get updates during the next 100 days as I remember that my body is only a temporary dwelling and that it should be treated with respect and that everything I do with my body should be done to the glory of God.
Friday, June 22, 2012
WLC Update
I guess I never blogged my results from the last WLC.
I took second place! I don't remember the final lbs or inches lost but I was pleased with my results. I even won $40 and lots of "ooh"s and "ahhh"s from colleagues.
I should remember that feeling more often. Maybe I need another challenge to get me motivated this time!
I took second place! I don't remember the final lbs or inches lost but I was pleased with my results. I even won $40 and lots of "ooh"s and "ahhh"s from colleagues.
I should remember that feeling more often. Maybe I need another challenge to get me motivated this time!
Here's the Skinny
Here's the skinny on me lately. Shortly after that last post, I got really busy with life and then started feeling really crummy physically. I thought I was coming down with the flu, but I never got sick. I just got really tired. At my worst, I was taking 3-4 hour naps in the middle of the day and going to bed as early as 8pm and sleeping in until 9, sometimes even 10am when I was lucky.
I thought it was stress. (I live a busy life, and was at my busiest when the BBF hosted our third annual race at the end of April.)
Then I thought maybe it was a little bit of depression. (My cousin recently passed away from cancer after a fight of only 7 months.)
Then, I thought maybe it was just allergies. (So I started messing with my allergy regimen.)
Then I started documenting everything and noticed how well I've been eating and how active I was before I started feeling like crap. I went back through my prayer journal and remembered a lot about the last few months. And I started to think that maybe there was just something legitimately wrong so I went to the doctor.
At first, the doc didn't do anything, really. They drew some routine lab work since it'd been a year or more since my previous physical. That showed that I have low vitamin D but that doc didn't seem to mind so he didn't suggest I do anything but go out into the sun a bit more.
So we made it a point to go for more walks and play outside more often and my symptoms just started getting worse. On top of the fatigue, my shoulder was hurting again - like it did before I started a 10 weeks of physical therapy on it for what was (mis?)diagnosed as bicep tendonitis. My shoulder pain, back pain, and fatigue talked me into getting a second opinion.
The next doc I saw lacked some serious bed side manners, and I felt like I was shoo'd away faster than I could get annoyed about it - but there was more blood drawn, to check for ANA (to rule out an auto-immune deficiency, just in case). I also got a script for some mega sumo Vitamin D pills to take. Maybe that will help?
The other bloodwork test showed borderline positive results, meaning that I had some ANA in my blood - which apparently means that my body is fighting itself for some reason or another. So I was referred to a rheumatologist. (This started making sense! I did some research and decided that I must have arthritis! Maybe my shoulder hurts because the tissues are decomposing in the joints and my body can't keep up with it so I'm exhausted from it all!)
Nope - the doc said my shoulder is completely unrelated. The rheumatologist ordered more extensive (specific?) blood tests to investiage the fatigue and soreness, and those tests came back with only slight abnormalities (whatever that means?) and only borderline positive for signs of lupus. She said that I really should not worry about any of this, that there certainly is no diagnosis, especially not one of lupus.
The plan is to visit one more time with my allergist and then possibly start a medication that is supposed to help with the fatigue. (No answers still on the shoulder pain, I guess it's just residual from an injury I got when I worked it so hard to lose that first 40ish lbs. Whatever.)
All of this was bothering me greatly so I haven't been working out (to be honest, I haven't even been eating as well as I was used to, either)... I've been using my fatigue and joint paint, and my unknown blood "abnormalities" as an excuses to just be in a waiting phase.... waiting on blood results... waiting on appointments ... waiting on reasons.
I'm done waiting.
So I'm still tired. But I'm done waiting for answers... I'm just going to make the commitment to find my healthy me again one small step at a time. I'll listen to my body but I'll stop making excuses. I'm just going to assume that nothing major is wrong.
My stupid mouth always gets me in trouble. This time it's for being over-cautious. Just suck it up and push through allergy season. Gonna keep pushing myself to get over these mental blocks.
I thought it was stress. (I live a busy life, and was at my busiest when the BBF hosted our third annual race at the end of April.)
Then I thought maybe it was a little bit of depression. (My cousin recently passed away from cancer after a fight of only 7 months.)
Then, I thought maybe it was just allergies. (So I started messing with my allergy regimen.)
Then I started documenting everything and noticed how well I've been eating and how active I was before I started feeling like crap. I went back through my prayer journal and remembered a lot about the last few months. And I started to think that maybe there was just something legitimately wrong so I went to the doctor.
At first, the doc didn't do anything, really. They drew some routine lab work since it'd been a year or more since my previous physical. That showed that I have low vitamin D but that doc didn't seem to mind so he didn't suggest I do anything but go out into the sun a bit more.
So we made it a point to go for more walks and play outside more often and my symptoms just started getting worse. On top of the fatigue, my shoulder was hurting again - like it did before I started a 10 weeks of physical therapy on it for what was (mis?)diagnosed as bicep tendonitis. My shoulder pain, back pain, and fatigue talked me into getting a second opinion.
The next doc I saw lacked some serious bed side manners, and I felt like I was shoo'd away faster than I could get annoyed about it - but there was more blood drawn, to check for ANA (to rule out an auto-immune deficiency, just in case). I also got a script for some mega sumo Vitamin D pills to take. Maybe that will help?
The other bloodwork test showed borderline positive results, meaning that I had some ANA in my blood - which apparently means that my body is fighting itself for some reason or another. So I was referred to a rheumatologist. (This started making sense! I did some research and decided that I must have arthritis! Maybe my shoulder hurts because the tissues are decomposing in the joints and my body can't keep up with it so I'm exhausted from it all!)
Nope - the doc said my shoulder is completely unrelated. The rheumatologist ordered more extensive (specific?) blood tests to investiage the fatigue and soreness, and those tests came back with only slight abnormalities (whatever that means?) and only borderline positive for signs of lupus. She said that I really should not worry about any of this, that there certainly is no diagnosis, especially not one of lupus.
The plan is to visit one more time with my allergist and then possibly start a medication that is supposed to help with the fatigue. (No answers still on the shoulder pain, I guess it's just residual from an injury I got when I worked it so hard to lose that first 40ish lbs. Whatever.)
All of this was bothering me greatly so I haven't been working out (to be honest, I haven't even been eating as well as I was used to, either)... I've been using my fatigue and joint paint, and my unknown blood "abnormalities" as an excuses to just be in a waiting phase.... waiting on blood results... waiting on appointments ... waiting on reasons.
I'm done waiting.
So I'm still tired. But I'm done waiting for answers... I'm just going to make the commitment to find my healthy me again one small step at a time. I'll listen to my body but I'll stop making excuses. I'm just going to assume that nothing major is wrong.
My stupid mouth always gets me in trouble. This time it's for being over-cautious. Just suck it up and push through allergy season. Gonna keep pushing myself to get over these mental blocks.
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